| From Tunbridge Wells to Tuborghavn |  Print |
Article By Celia Thaysen, The Copenhagen Post - Used with permission.
Lucy and Keith Mitchell moved to Copenhagen from Tunbridge Wells in Kent, England. Keith moved first in July 2008, to take up a position as Head of Corporate Finance, Northern Europe for what is now Scandinavian Tobacco. Lucy, together with her then one-year old daughter, Hannah, moved three months later in October. They live in a modern apartment in Tuborghavn in Hellerup, a suburb north of Copenhagen.
Thinking back to when she first came, Lucy recalls: “Having a relocation agent really took a lot of the strain out of the moving process, cutting through the red tape. A nice part of the programme was being given an orientation tour around the city, including a trip to the hospital, good parks for dog-walking, and places to take kids. They even took me to the town hall and got Hannah registered on the waiting list for six nurseries.’
When Lucy arrived, she knew no-one and was already aware that due to the dual-income structure in Denmark, most Danish toddlers are in childcare. So, thinking of Hannah, she joined LINK – the Ladies International Network of København.
‘I went along to “Bumps and Babies” in my second week here, and it was fantastic for both Hannah and me. Through LINK I have met so many other people. At first, I just went to the events related to kids, but now I also go to some evening events without Hannah.’
Lucy is now the Kids Korner co-ordinator for LINK, a sign that she has successfully established herself here. When asked why she did it, she replies: ‘LINK activities are run by volunteers. I benefited so much from going to the “Bumps & Babies” and “Mums & Tots” groups with Hannah. When the previous co-ordinator stood down, I just wanted to make sure the kids’ groups continued to run so that other new mums could benefit like we did.’
Beneath Lucy’s elfin features and smiley, happy demeanour, lie a strong set of values, a stubborn determination and a desire to do the best for her family, and you sense that this combination has provided her with the guiding principles for how she has approached the relocation.
‘I made a list of goals for when we moved here. These were: to enjoy exploring Danish culture and Denmark; to grasp something of the language; to provide a happy, fun and interesting environment for Hannah; to focus on family and spend more time as a unit, something we had less of in the UK; to make friends; and on a personal note, to improve my dress-making skills.’
So how have Lucy and her family enjoyed their experience here so far?
‘There are some great things about Copenhagen. Being on the bike is just fantastic. It means you get to know the city better as you can take things in geographically. Cycle paths mean you’re safe from traffic - so long as you use the basic hand signals, you’ll be fine. Also, if you can, spend some time here. Try and see some of the country; it’s small so it’s perfect for exploring. At the weekends, we like to have family days and do something different every week. Getting out and about makes you feel more at home here.’
Lucy has also found the time to take advantage of company sponsored Danish classes and is pleased that she did. She says: ‘I try and speak it out in the shops and now I can understand more, such as at my yoga classes. It’s really nice to have some grasp of what people are saying around you.’
One of the great advantages of life in Denmark is that it is really family-friendly, and that has been a huge plus point for Lucy. ‘There’s never a problem with taking kids to places as they almost always have a high chair. People are generally very happy to speak English if you need it. It’s clean; the parks are nice; even in the centre of the city, and there are lots of outdoorsy things to do. And the weather is really much better than people make out. When it’s sunny, it’s great.’
She admits that there are some cultural differences. ‘We were told that you have to be very direct and specific with the Danes. For instance, you need a pair of socks, ideally black. So you go into a shop and ask if they have black socks. They say no. However, if you still want socks in another colour, you have to ask a follow up question, like “Do you have any blue socks?” Then the sales assistant will enthusiastically take you to them. It’s all about asking the right question. Sometimes too, Danes are criticised for what comes across as rudeness. But I’ve learned not to take this personally because it’s not.’
To date, Lucy seems to have achieved all but one of her original goals. Apparently, not much progress has been made on the dressmaking. So how does Lucy feel a year down the line?
‘It’s so much easier than at the beginning,’ she exhales. Then smiling, she adds: ‘You still have your good days and bad. Some days you just want to hide under the covers, but with a child you can’t do that.’
Reflecting further on her own experiences, she considers what advice to give to newcomers.
‘Be prepared to experience some upheaval, disappointments and delays during the transition period. Don’t be afraid to approach people and say that you’re new in town. Give out your number and text if you’re too shy to call. Take your time to settle in and do it at your own pace. Try not to panic and feel you have to do everything at once and say yes to every engagement. It’s easy to feel vulnerable in a new place, and suddenly seemingly simple tasks can pull the rug from under you. You have to put so much energy into living in a new country.’
Lucy and her family have embraced Denmark – getting to know the city and the country as much as possible, making an effort to learn some basic Danish, and taking up typical Danish activities such as cycling, things they enjoy doing and that suit their lifestyle. So perhaps that is the key: to know what it is you want to get out of the experience, to be proactive and to adopt some of your new country’s culture, and merge all of that with what feels comfortable for you. |